Remus Black (remus1981) wrote in trousersoftime,
Remus Black
remus1981
trousersoftime

Who Remus and Sirius
When Friday night
Where Grimmauld Place hospital
What Sirius wakes up. Kinda.
Rating G

Remus had finally fallen asleep a few hours earlier after keeping a vigil by Sirius' bed on the slight chance that his condition might change. He can't be anywhere but by Sirius' side right now, just in case he misses it when Sirius wakes up. He has been trying to ignore any thoughts of Sirius not waking up, but the longer this goes on, the more he is forced to face the fact that this might be permanent, or if he does wake up, he might not be the Sirius that Remus knows so well. Those thoughts chill him and he doesn't know how he will survive if Sirius doesn't recover. He has broken down a few times this week - when no one else is there. He has talked to Sirius almost constantly, finding comfort in the one-sided conversation. His cheek is now resting on Sirius' hand, the one he is still holding in his own and he sleeps lightly, ready to wake if something happens.

It's still all black; the same way it's been for hours, or days, or maybe months or years or a lifetime perhaps. All black. Sirius lies still in his bed, still and silent, such a vast difference from his usual self. He can't think anything, or see or hear anything, or even dream anything. He lies on as he has for days now. But slowly something begins to build, deep in the back of his mind, something uncomfortable and unpleasant and it's starting to inwardly jostle him. It hurts. He's still asleep, but his breathing changes, so slightly it's nearly impossible to tell, and after another wave of awareness his fingers move, brushing against something soft and warm, brushing against your cheek.

At the feel of your fingers brushing his cheek, Remus rubs his cheek against your hand, his eyes slowly opening as he realises what woke him up. Hope, anticipation and fear curl in his stomach as he raises his head and sits up to gaze at you intently. "Sirius?" he says, feeling sure it was his imagination. Nothing has happened all week and now he is probably dreaming of it, he wants you to wake up so badly. "Please," he whispers, running his thumb over the back of your hand as he holds it still.

Sirius breathes in a shaky breath, something he hasn't done all week, and although it takes a long moment, his fingers move again. His body is desperately trying to wake himself up, but it's not easy. He takes another deep breath as his fingers clench inward, into a fist, curling in against the growing pain that's forcing him to wake up.

Remus gasps when he notices your breathing has changed and though it's such a small thing, he finally dares to hope that this is a sign of improvement. Of course, a tiny evil voice inside whispers, it could ean a setback, but he finds himself praying that you're waking up and that you'll be okay. "Siri-" he begins but stops abruptly when you clutch his hand tightly, gazing down at your hand, blinking for a moment. Suddenly, his facade breaks and he clutches your hand back, moving closer to you. "Sirius, please," he says, his voice breaking. "Please wake up, sweetheart. I need you. We all do. Please, Sirius. Wake up."

Sirius isn't aware that you're speaking, or that you're clutching his hand, or that you're even there at all right now. The only thing he's aware of is how much this hurts, and the urgency behind it all, forcing him and forcing him, and how he needs to just. Wake. Up. With a sharp breath his eyes snap open and his hand clenches around yours painfully, everything seemingly too damn bright. He chokes on his next breath and clenches his hand around yours again, completely disoriented and unaware, mindful only of the throbbing in his head.

Remus, for all his prayers and hopeful words, is completely shocked when you open your eyes so suddenly and he gasps, standing up to lean over you. "Sirius," he says, his voice choked with relief. He reaches up to gently caress your cheek but it is then that he realises that you aren't responding to him, that you don't even seem to realise that he is there. Fear clutches his heart and he turns to look around the room. "Poppy!" he calls out, his voice filled with urgency. "Poppy, come quickly. Something's wrong." Please be alright, he begs you as he turns back to gaze down at you.

Sirius grimaces in pain, his head pounding and god it must be splitting. He reaches up with his free hand and presses his palm against his temple, wanting it to just stop, please fucking stop. When you call out he groans, the sound painfully surging through his head, and he presses his palm harder against his temple, feeling nauseas and dizzy. His hand tightens around yours, fingers clenching as hard as they can. It's only a second later that Poppy's hurrying over towards both of them, looking worried and pale. Sirius groans again at the sound of someone else approaching, every noise hurting right now, adding to the confusion and the dizziness.

Remus grimaces as you clutch his hand as tight as you can, but he doesn't say a word, wanting Poppy's focus to be on making you well again. He doesn't pay attention as she does her thing, focusing instead on your face and that terrible expression of pain. "It's going to be alright, Sirius," he says, wincing when you groan again. Poppy tut-tuts and shakes her head. "Remus, dear," she says softly, glancing down at you. "He appears to be highly sensitive to external stimulus. You will have to whisper to him if you wish him to hear what you're saying." Raising her wand, she casts a spell to dim the lamp lighting the room to protect your eyes.

Sirius' eyes tear up before he clenches them closed, certain his head is going to burst. It hurts sofuckingbadlyohgod and he wants it to stop, please stop, anything to make it stop. He whimpers and still clutches your hand, but the moment Poppy dims the lamp in the room he goes still, his body relaxing now and his eyes slowly opening. He appears unfocused and unsure, blinking a few times as though not really aware of where he is, his grip loosening around your hand. His brow furrows slightly but he stays silent and, for the most part, still, just gazing rather blankly in the vague direction of you and Poppy.

Remus' heart is breaking as he watches you, desperately hoping that this isn't really happening and begins to wish you were still sleeping. At least the he had the hope that you would be alright. Poppy touches your forehead, whispering soothing words to you. Remus blinks away tears as he stares down at you, noting the blankness of your stare. Sirius, his mouth forms the word but no sound comes out. Poppy excuses herself to find another potion she requires, and Remus leans forward, brushing his fingers gently across your cheek. "Sirius?" he whispers, watching you worriedly. "Say something. Please."

Sirius doesn't seem to notice that Poppy touches him, just giving her an almost pleasant, absent gaze. When she leaves the room he goes back to gazing towards you, giving you an expectant look when you brush your fingers across his cheek, his first indication of being aware of... well, anything other than the earlier pain, really. He feels pleasantly numb right now, none of the pain from only a minute ago present now. He's awake and that's quite nice, if he thinks about it.

Remus sits on the edge of your bed and continues to stroke your cheek, since that seems to have encouraged you to loook at him. "Sirius? Talk to me. Are you alright? I can't believe what happened. I love you so much, Sirius. More than anything. You know that. Please, Sirius. Say something, give me some indication that you understand me." He is getting desperate as he begins begging but falls silent as Poppy arrives back in the room. "Alright, Sirius," she says softly, "this should help."

Sirius just gazes pleasantly at you as you speak, giving you a small smile. You seem upset, but he likes you all the same. Everything's quite nice right now, really. When Poppy comes back into the room he gives her another small smile, sitting still in his bed. He doesn't nod or agree when she brings him the potion, and in fact doesn't even gaze at it, but stays compliant and just sits patiently. He wrinkles his nose when she brings the potion to his lips, not sure whether to drink it or not, but she has this way of getting it into his mouth and then he really has no other choice but to swallow. He coughs once it's down, making a face. Not very pleasant, this drink.

Remus is trying to hide it from you, but he is growing more upset with each pleasant look you give him, completely not what he expects to see from you. He isn't doing a very good job of it, but then Poppy has always been able to see through him and she gives him a sympathetic look. "He might still pick up," she says, although Remus doesn't think she sounds all that confident. "He can't -" the words stick in his throat and he swallows heavily.

Sirius makes another face before he scrunches his nose up and sneezes. Well that was odd. He gives a little lick to his lips then peers up at you and Poppy, not quite as pleasantly as before. He's wary of anything else to drink, as it doesn't taste too nice. Bored with peering at the two of you he gazes around the room, finally noticing some of the things in it. Odd, those lamp things, with the light. He remembers they hurt his head and makes a face, finally moving back to look at you two. He's a bit bored, really. And that lasts for a few moments before a slow ache begins to build in the back of his head again, beginning to pound and hurt the way it did before. He grimaces and presses his palm back to his temple, trying not to let the hurt seep back through. He doesn't want to hurt, not again, not so soon. Of course it doesn't help, and a moment later it's a rapid change; the pain is back full blown, hurting more than before, and he cries out as he sits up finally, his head in his hands, body doubled over.

Remus doesn't know what to do. His dreams came true - you woke up - but now you don't seem to know who he is and you're not speaking at all. His heart is aching as he watches you look around the room, and once again his heart is clenched with fear as you press your palm to your temple. As you double over in pain, he glances at Poppy in a panic. "What's happening? I...Sirius? Poppy, you've got to help him. Please!"

The sound of your voice only hurts his head more, and Sirius presses both his palms to his temples, inwardly begging for this to stop. "Oh god," he groans, speaking for the first time since he's woken up. While he's really only focusing on the pain, he seems more himself right now, moving more than before, and actually saying something. Poppy shoots you a rather startled look before she turns her attention back to Sirius, her wand out. "This is... something I've never seen before," she admits, more to herself than anything, surprised that the potion hadn't helped more. It's not often that one deals with someone that's been through what Sirius has been through, and as good as Poppy is, it's never easy to deal with the unknown. Sirius meanwhile stays doubled over, clutching his head still in his hands. "God, please," he whimpers.

Remus isn't at all reassured by Poppy's demeanour, but it's Poppy, the woman who has always been able to fix him up, no matter how badly he has been hurt. Surely she will be able to help you too. He watches fearfully as Poppy casts various healing spells, all the while never letting go of your hand. Please, be okay. Please be sane. Please, come back to me, he thinks desperately. I need you too much to ever let you go, Sirius.

At first it doesn't seem as though anything Poppy does helps, and Sirius just holds his head, his face screwed up in pain. Finally, what she's doing begins to work, and the pain recedes enough for Sirius to look up, finally focusing on you for the first time. "Remus-" he begins, but that's all he gets out, before he drops his hands, his head not quite clear, but not full of pain. He blinks, his gaze becoming far away again, and with a heavy sigh he lies back down. He's exhausted suddenly, from all the commotion after such a long time of being asleep, and he closes his eyes with another sigh, settling down to sleep.

When you say his name, hope blooms in Remus' chest and he smiles for the first time that week. But the smile quickly fades and his eyes widen in horror as your expression changes back to that blank one from before. "No!" he protests before he can stop himself. He can't believe you're going back to sleep after raising his hopes so much with so little. "Sirius, no. Please!" His voice breaks and for the first time in years, he breaks down in front of Poppy, unable to stop it as he feels the sudden loss of you as acutely as before.
Subscribe
Comments for this post were disabled by the author