If you’ve received this, something has happened and I am no longer alive, or no longer healthy enough to stop this from being sent. As I sit here it’s odd to imagine something happening to me. My life and my position are relatively sterile and dull. But there is war coming, and nothing is certain. So I have written to all of you because I don’t wish to be remembered as something other than what I truly am. I don’t fear death. My only fear is that one of you die before me, not having read these words. So please, whatever you may think of me, do me the favor of suffering my letters.
This is a hard letter to write. You and Bill will both be difficult, because I have admissions to make to the two of you that are awkward for me. Even though I will never know if you’ve seen this or not, I am still nervous.
Nevertheless, it needs to be done.
I know how the family regards me now. Believe me, I know. I am not without some hard feelings myself, though you will maybe say I don’t deserve them.
I know my siblings mostly think of me as an upright ponce who cares nothing for anything but studies and furthering my career. There is truth in that. But less truth than you may think.
You and Bill were my heroes. I will admit that now, on parchment, because I know I’ll never say the words out loud. You were my big brothers. I grew up watching you with wide eyes, seeing you both sail so easily through school. You were the opposite of me, Charlie. Charming and talented, athletic. You made friends as easily as I made enemies. I longed to be like you in some small way, but I never did tune in to whatever part of the brain allows a person to talk to other people. I have always been stilted and awkward.
I hope that here, at the Ministry, I have found somewhere I might be able to make a real home for myself. As a Weasley I was a failure. Here I may yet be a success. You are doing what you love, so maybe you will understand: being here is what I love. What I am good at. Just about the only thing. Learning, politics, and studies are my dragons, Charlie. I wouldn’t ask you to give up yours, but it was asked of me to give up mine.
No...I don’t want to turn this into an accusation of some sort. I simply want you to understand. My intents were never malicious. I wanted freedom to be who I was, and to get it I had to leave my family behind. I love you, as I love all my family, and that will never diminish at all.
Enjoy your dragons, Charlie. And be safe. I think hard times might be coming.